One sure sign that you live in an unhealthy relationship, is
that your partner slowly forces out your friendship and makes you totally
dependent on them for emotional support, stability, and approval.
With no available friends, you become co-dependent on the
other person for everything. A co-dependent person would do anything and
everything to make their the partner in a relationship happy and seek favor, and avoid taking
the blame for others being unhappy.
Co-dependents become just as sick as their addicted partner.
Co-dependents have to stop enabling the negative cycle. They need humbly (but
firmly) say Because I love (or care) for you, I can’t give in to your demands
for cash or control or withholding of sexual intimacy. They need to recognize
their own self worth and establish their own independence and strength.
Fact is happiness is a choice. You can’t make other people happy.
You can only control yourself and your choices that keep you happy and well. Don’t
cave in to allowing yourself to lose your self-worth, self-independence, and your
fiends because of someone else.
Co-dependents don’t lose friends and things in life; they
give them up. Good friends are priceless. They are like trees to be watered so
that you can enjoy the fruit of their supportive friendships. Good friends are our lifeline in life!
Co-dependents have to get support from fiends or women’s or men’s
church groups, so that they can help themselves first and learn to stop enabling
others just to feel loved. Co-dependency is a choice and you can choose to stop
if you learn how to overcome it and get a support network.
I have been through hell these past two days, but personal groth requires overcoming difficulty. I have learned alot about myself.
I learned that it is absolutely essential to maintain friendships. Never to ask advice about a wife from any friend - especially female friends. That could break emotional trust and open doors to infidelity.
Instead it is better to have a group of trusted friends, grounded in good values, common sense, and the wisdom to see what Gods word says about the issue. Exactly what you get with friends in men's group or women's group. These men's and women's groups have strict confidentiality rules.
I put my good female friend in a bad spot by forgetting this rule and i hope she can forgive me for that.
Female friends are absolutely cool to have for even married men, but you have to keep everything totally open and never say anything disrespectful about your wife or marriage. Best if your wife develops friendships with them too. Everyone wins.
So if you are in an unhealthy marital situation that jeapordizes your emotional health and family, reach out to these men's and women's church groups first.